Concept of Intellectual Chemistry between couples is new to Pakistani society. Our youth is far more intelligent, practical, talented and courageous than their parents. The height of luck is they have a lot of independence and freedom to make choices in life. Many times, we parents envy them, though glad to see them this way, simultaneously. As for promising youth, who are very successful in their careers and materializing their dreams, have all the convincing powers for what they desire in life. They convince their parents to get their support all the way through. However, a very strange observation comes to my way when I meet these brilliant young folks.
I meet some youngsters, boys and girls both, who despite their educational and professional success, when come to marriage, they find themselves bound to conventions. For example, Sunaina, 25, Mphil in Chemistry opts to marry a BA businessman with whom she doesn’t find anything common. They have huge intellectual gaps and a wide bridge among their philosophy on life. She does so just to make her parents happy, rather than thinking of her own happiness. She doesn’t know, by the end of the day, if they fail to create any understanding between them, not only they will suffer, but most likely their kids, too, will be victims of an unhappy marriage.
Similarly, Waqqas, 29, CEO of an emerging business, has a huge circle of richly talented friends, where he has some very attractive and professionally sound girls. He knows about his natural inclination towards physically attractive and professionally sound females, but still he doesn’t find himself to be able to marry the girl of his choice because of his family pressure. Finally, he surrenders to his parents and gives his consent in the favor of his chubby and metric pass cousin, just to see his parents happy and satisfied. He is unaware of the mid-life crisis that is ready to grab them both who have jumped in the life boat without any relationship chemistry.
Faiq, 32, a psychologist, hesitates to tell his parents about his genuine love with whom he feels a soul-mate-like chemistry. Practically, he knows he can’t marry his perfect partner due to the huge family property inheritance issues. Thus, their 5-year love affair ends up in marrying partners of their families’ choices. It’s hard to prefer their own happiness in life to the happiness of their families and their wealth inheritance. However, sooner or later, it is a lesson they have to learn from life; but by that moment, it might be too late for one reason or the other.
No doubt, our parents are very experienced, 101% sincere to us and want to see us happy, still these days, there is a huge generation gap between parents and their kids. So, kids must express what exactly they want to see in their life-partners, and, parents should listen to them carefully. Then, objectively thinking just in the interest of their kids, they should look for their matches, rather than deciding upon their own liking for certain girls and/or boys.
The youngsters must help their parents in finding appropriate matches for them through communicating their desires directly, as they do for their career choices. And, in case, they like/love someone, it should seriously be considered on both sides at the time of match making or marrying.