Midlife Pakistani Women Should Pursue Careers

creative writer kausar bilalSeleena smiles as always, “How fortunate I am to be able to enjoy my life in different phases. I got married right after my bachelor’s degree and dedicated another 15 years to taking care of my family. My all three kids grew up well. They were adored by my family and friends for their good brought up and brilliance. At their schools, they were straight A students along with their ardent participation in a number of co-curricular activities. I thanked God again and again for letting me staying home and cherish each and every moment with my kids, playing, hugging, nurturing and teaching them.

Once they all got settled into a certain system, miraculously, I was offered a job at the most prestigious private school of my kids just because of a meticulous brought of my kids. I was stunned to hear these words from their school Principal.

The job was a turning point which led to further studies in dress designing and my smooth transition from a housewife-teacher-dress designer. In a couple of years, my kids  were grown up and I was into my dream business. Life was much more lovable.”

I was delighted to meet Sumera, mom of my son’s teacher. She, 45, told me, “I got married earlier in life and had 3 daughters. Two of my daughters got married when I was just 40. Life was very lonely after they had left. Soon, I started to babysit their newborns so that they can continue with their studies. I enjoyed it. Viewing it, two more moms from our neighborhood opted to leave their toddlers with me during their working hours. I was glad with 4 of them. Surprisingly, I didn’t find it a burden. Now, I have 10 kids and feel life is much more meaningful. I was introduced to a new aspect of life wich was full of   immense sense of achievement. I never knew I was capable of that much. Before, I was spending my days and nights for others while neglecting me. But now, in the new scenario, I love myself as well. And, I began to enjoy pampering me with the additional money I earn and own.”

My new colleague shared with me, “I was married to a PhD right after my BA. Traditionally, I got busy with my in-laws and kids. 18 years passed by un-noticed. My in-laws loved me and always appreciated me for my dedicated roles of a wife, mom, daughter –in-law and sister-in-law; whereas my husband couldn’t make out why I was ‘wasting’ my life on my home and family. Loneliness had been succumbed me up all these years due to the lack of chemistry with my husband and his unappreciative attitude despite all my efforts to win his heart this way.

Both my sons went abroad after their A-levels and I was even lonelier. Killing the pain, I went to university to first pursue my MA and then MPhil, which led to university teaching. My studies transformed me into an intellectual person from a layman. The change radiated in everyday life matters and very first time my husband got excited to see it. After 22 years, it was altogether a new marriage. With better intellectual chemistry, our relationship was spiced up and we got the spark that we missed all the way through. One day, he asked me to assist him in some of his research projects. We began to work together, cherishing a higher level of love, understanding, appreciation and respect between us.

This summer, when my kids visited us, I found a special regard and pride in their eyes for me. Latest education introduced me to new concepts and skills. It bridged the generation gap between me and my sons. . I thanked God that I decided for further studies; otherwise, they might have taken me as their maid.”

Rameen, my schoolmate said one day, “I dreamed to own a business of artificial jewelry, but never had time for it because of my dominating father-in-law and bed-ridden mother-in-law. Alongside, my both kids were center of my attention. After a couple of years, circumstances changed. My husband inherited good enough from his parents, and, both my kids entered the high school. I had some free time on my hands, but rather than indulging in family politics, and wasting time on useless gossiping and TV morning shows, I wanted some constructed activities to pursue. At this point, fortunately, I had freedom and money too to pursue my daydream. I thought it was the last time I could play my dream innings in life. So, I got initial education in jewelry design and started the business. In about three years, it had grown speedily. My exhibitions gave me opportunities to interact and stay connected with different kinds of people, who were source of my learning, earning and inspiration. They loved and respected me for who I was.

The best part was my kids and husband valued me much more than before, and, I felt still young and energetic even at 43 to manage it all. Life to come seemed like more promising.”

4 Comments
  1. Wonderful indeed! probably an eye opener for all those ladies who are also looking forward to pursue their goals at midlife which remained unfulfilled at early age.
    So I think its never too late, just grab the opportunity and exploit it to the full once you are in the pool. I wish all the ladies good luck, who are ambitious to achieve.

  2. Quite inspiring…:) … When I was in my teens and twenties, I thought the time would freeze and things will remain the same … But time melts away like ice in heat and so does our age, emotional and mental health … In order to avoid the midlife trauma … We need to keep ourselves busy in something productive be it further studies or any new innovation … Ladies know your worth and live for yourselves too…:)

  3. Very inspiring!!!
    Just a meaningful post indeed!!”

  4. Felt a lot pleasure to read the article. Any person can build his life in old age by learning more things and consuming his spare time in more positive manner.

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