Being an intellectual person, what would you do when you come across a like-minded intellectual soul? Of course, you will impulsively respond to an intellectual conversation. You will always find sharing and exchanging of idea beneficial. However, it initiates some misunderstandings when it happens between opposite genders.
In fact, like-mindedness and sharing yourself with someone else on the equal wavelength ignites an Intellectual Chemistry which brings out all the sincerity, openness and friendliness in the conversation. People intend to meet each other, even more than once. Or, they like to communicate whenever there is an opportunity. It is something like food for our souls and minds. So, people consider these activities healthy that let them grow personally, socially and professionally. However, problems occur when opposite genders take it as steps towards personal relationships.
Interestingly, our intellectual youngsters are more mature in this matter. They share their ideas freely without jumping into personal relationships immediately. They are not afraid of discussing any topic. Like-mindedness is something pleasant for them but they don’t think that it necessarily leads them to personal relationships. An open media has broaden their horizons. And, fortunately, they have access to social interaction with the opposite gender from their high school years. So, they are wiser and more confident from a young age. Moreover, it makes them clear about what exactly they want from life in terms of relationships. They may handle mere intellectual friendships and co-working without getting into personal relationships. Even so, sometimes they respect the one-sided feelings as well.
Contrarily, middle-aged people in Pakistan react to intellectual interactions differently because of their restricted upbringing where they were not encouraged to mingle up with opposite genders for the sake of exchanging ideas. It’s something new for them. Moreover, they are busy dealing with the suitable or unsuitable marriages that took place mainly because of their parental approval. In the case of mid-life crisis, they are not able to abandon their children or hurt their spouses for one reason or the other. On the other hand, they have opportunities to communicate with like-minded opposite genders who seem to be more compatible and are available at their work places and other intellectual forums. And, with them, they feel like having a real companionship. This conflict is so brutal that people urge to satisfy themselves while ignoring religion and morality. The situation becomes more intense when people from different moral values come across each other.
I believe that marriage defines our loyalties, though it gives personal freedom to interact with others in the society on intellectual level. Here, things become complicated when one of the genders takes the intellectual exchange as a healthy activity only, but the other gender takes it as initiating a personal relationship. In this case, both the genders get hurt. The first one loses a like-minded friend, acquaintance or potential co-worker, and the other person loses an expected personal relationship.
I think, married people should define their social status first before interacting with others. They should answer these questions honestly:
What is my family life to me?
What is the place of religions and morals in my life?
Am I happily married, or going through a midlife crisis, where I am looking for a right life partner?
In the case of midlife crisis, am I ready to handle a new partner along with my current family? If yes, what will be the actual shape of it?
If my family, religion or morality is my priority, can I be contented while limiting myself to only intellectual friendships?
These answers will give them clarity about what to pursue when they converse with the other like-minded persons. If two persons feel like having a relationship, and they are successful in finding a solution or set up that is feasible for both of them, Great! If they don’t agree on it, at least they can respect an intellectual friendship.