Oh God!! These Facebook Friends!

kausarbilal creative writerThings are changing very fast in Pakistani society, even faster than the change of seasons at Maine, USA. Social values are replacing by new ones because of some reasons:

  • Now-a-days Pakistani women have come out of their homes for education and work.
  • At work places and everywhere both the genders can interact with each other freely.
  • The easy contact of both the genders via social media.

This first time interaction of men and women both in Pakistan has overshadowed the family values. Rather than taking social media as a constructive and productive tool, people prefer to use the social forums as free dating sites. If you are limited to your specified friends, it makes sense, but unfortunately, there are sitting people of all ages behind the computer who have plenty of time or all the time for chatting.

Only two decades ago, people used to respect ladies and at least too young, elder and married ladies were not bothered, but now they don’t care. I don’t know where have gone the people who knew how to respect different social relationships. But, now they want to take ‘chances’ with everyone regardless of age and marital status. It’s very strange, because there are always rules to play games. Also, it is the height of immorality and weak character that you don’t have any personal or social values out of your intoxication for lust.

Free interaction of both the genders doesn’t mean that you have lost all the values and all the rules. If a lady is out there for work, education or some other reason, or available online doesn’t indicate she is free for “friendships”.

Similarly, those ladies who accept friend requests don’t mean they are looking for friends. Most probably they are doing online businesses and want more and more people to get to know about their products, services or skills they offer. So, it is very bothering to send them aimless messages like,


” Honey, your pics are very nice.”

“How was your day dear?”

‘When are you free for a chat?”

“I am looking for a friend. I would be glad to have you my friend. etc.”

The best way is, ask for chat to only friends you already know in your real life, rather than sending friend requests just because you found someone good looking. ‘Good looking’ element doesn’t symbolise that the person is keen in making friends with strangers, or doesn’t have any big purposes of life. Secondly, when you are accepted as a friend by an unknown person, be clear he/she might be into a business, run a blog or own a company. Then, get the idea that he/she means business, and urges to advertize his/her business around the globe. So, if you are interested in the business and you have some genuine queries, do send them professional messages in professional tones.

On the same note, if someone doesn’t respond to your ‘ only friendly’ messages, why to bother messaging him/her again and again? Similarly, if someone replies, “Sorry, I am too busy to chat,” you should take it as a polite No to your “Friendship” offers.

If these fb professionals are successful or struggling to be successful, they are already juggling with various activities and dealing with time management challenges. If they start spending time on aimless interactions and replying “just friendly” chats, how will they attend to their meaningful business ventures. In fact, they have no more time for that.

However, they are always available for meaningful chat, e.g. you may inquire about their business, generate a discussion via commenting on their blogs, order for the products they offer or engage them in delivering services for you.





  1. Absolutely right……..A sensible selection to pen down…….usually face book is taken as a source of entertainment and fun. Majority of people on fb or other social networks is nun serious. For them it’s just a modernization and fashion ability to be on fb or other networks. They need to be educated regarding this. They showcase the same attitudes in their real lives towards the serious matters as well. I think such articles on the sagacious meaning of socialization must be published so that the concept of fb or other social networks as a stupid fun making source can be changed. Thanks.

  2. Very well said Asma, we people need real education on how to use social networks maintaining our religious and cultural norms and values. I really get surprised and disappointed to see people of all ages being indulge in the same activity, flirting. I wonder if they don’t have any useful activitiy that can bring them more success in their personal, professional and social life.
    Thanks for your insightful comments.

  3. Nice to know about you ma’am. Good to see here in Pakistan we have such greater writers like you ma’am.

    Ma’am real problem lies in our society. We people firstly use things in negative way but this topic will guide many of us towards right path and direct us to how use new things / options of communication like facebook, twitter etc in positive way.

    Ma’am I pray that we all Pakistani girls n guys use such things not just for fun or chat only. We shoulf use this facebook like invention for seeking n inhencing our knowledge. Ameen.

    Thanks Ma’am for highligthing this important issuse.

  4. Ma’am nice topic selection.

    We all Pakistanis use to know how to use new inventions like facebook.

    Great work Ma’am. Thanks for writing on such important topic.

    • Thank you Rehan for visiting my blog and leaving your kind words as comments. I appreciate your courage and spirit.
      You know what? Our youth are extremely talented and extremely lucky as well due to better educational institutes, access to media, working opportunities, freedom, and all that. So, our dream is to see them engaged in Heroic work, making the most of what they have. And, then imageine, which country can be on the top of the world? You know what I mean?
      Also. your personal lives will be flourished and you will be proud of yourself. Isn’t it?
      Wish you all the best!

  5. “ This is love made visible. ” But I have a feeling that professionals and people with substance no more use FB as a medium now. They have shifted on other nifty platforms leaving FB for old loners, pessimists who have nothing else to do and are hunting for chances (mugh se dosti karo gey) they may grab.

    BTW, FB never was for friendship. It started as a network for students to exchange educational notes in universities and over time have been relegated to people hunting for like minded loners who are mostly “mugh se dosti karo gey’ type.

    Good post.

  6. Thank you Nayyar for your comment. I believe, facebook, as a significant part of social media, is still very effective for business purpose. So, despite the appearance of other channels, we cannot ignore Facebook due to its popularity among people.

  7. Well written as always. FB is still the most popular medium in the social platform and we simply can’t ignore it’s popularity as well. My story is different from other’s when it comes to my social network.
    I first got a FB account about years back and as all it’s the knows friends which was added and I was afraid to add strangers but when I first add my first Pakistani , I never knew that I was longed for a amazing bond with Pakistan and it’s people. Today more than my own I have Pak friends on my FB and my journey as a blogger started with the greatest Pakistani blogger as well. My first capture on a photography for National Geographic Magazine was done to a Pakistani photographer and now helping another Pak friend to make his first book a success and also working with some Pak university student doing masters who wants guidance in creative writing.
    It was not friends I found through FB but family from Pakistan and I’m happy that social media helped me to find some amazing people. I didn’t meet people who were interested in other things than friendship but if you know how to handle the FB , I guarantee you will have some amazing online friends …..

    • Thanks a lot Sajini for stopping by after a long time. I appreciate a lot your contribution to the post. But the thing is it consumes a lot of time to find out some valuable online friends out of so many ‘non-serious’ ones. Isn’t it?
      You are really a very fortunate one! Thanks again for sharing your experience.

  8. Quite an eye opening post for all those misleading friends who seem to be desperate for companionship and use social media as a medium. Unfortunately, this doesn’t going to work out as people trust only those whom they know personally only. We can only use these friendships for our professional purposes and whom we trust only we share some personal matters too, nothing else.
    Well done! thanks for highlighting this issue.

  9. Thank you very much Ayesha! I appreciate your nice comment.

  10. Tnx ma’am for your kind reply. In fast moving era we all can flourish n we as youth have more better options, by which we all can acheieve our dreams n goals. Fb is now becoming a part of life or u can say a need of many people. so this topic u pened down will help many for longer period of time.

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